Day 1 of 50 Streams Until I’m 50

tinamalia76
Dec 18, 2025
3 min read

Day 1 of the 50 Streams Until 50 challenge, a Gen X woman gamer starting a TikTok Live Call of Duty stream.

Optional shorter TikTok caption: — **Day 1 of 50 Streams Until I’m 50.**

No perfect setup. No waiting. Just showing up.

Today is Day 1.

I’m officially starting 50 streams in 50 days leading up to my 50th birthday, and I’m doing it the only way I know how, by showing up before I talk myself out of it.

Not a soft launch. Not a test run. Not a “let me fix one more thing first.”

Just Day 1.

I tried that the past two days with a couple of short practice streams, and here we are.

It’s time.

I’m streaming Call of Duty on TikTok Live. That’s it. No perfectly polished setup. No smoke and mirrors that everything is figured out. If you’ve followed me for any amount of time, you already know that’s never been how I do things anyway. I’ve learned as I go my entire life, and I’m not about to stop now. Even when I ask for opinions and guidance, I somehow still end up doing it the..ToxicTeener way.

And yes, I’m using filters.

Get over it. I have to live with this face 365 days a year. Wrinkles, age spots, discoloration. The full Gen X experience. We were out there rubbing baby oil on our skin and baking in the sun like it was a sport. Did you miss the part where I’m almost 50? I’ve earned the right to smooth the lighting a little and still drop into a Warzone match.

Confidence and filters can coexist. We’re not doing the “age gracefully but silently” thing over here. If you know me in real life, you know exactly what I look like. Women wear makeup every day, the socially accepted filter. To feel a little more put together. So… what’s the point again?

Starting something new at this age messes with your head more than people admit. That little voice shows up fast. The one that asks if you’re too late, too old, too behind, or too visible. The one that reminds you gaming community still love to question women, especially women who don’t fit the expected mold.

There will be no low cut shirts. Just gaming tees, probably a hoodie if I get cold, and yes, a throw blanket within reach.

I hear that voice. I just don’t let it drive. Right now, I’m telling it to shut up!!! At least for the next 50 days.

This challenge isn’t about proving anything to strangers on the internet. It’s about proving to myself that I don’t need permission to start. That this dream doesn’t expire. That there’s still room to build, learn, and have fun! Even when the setup isn’t perfect and the confidence isn't 100% there.

For now, this journey lives on TikTok Live. Streaming Call of Duty, chaotic matches, learning curves, laughter, frustration, and those moments where everything clicks for half a second and reminds you why you fell in love with gaming in the first place. And the friends you made along the way. Maybe other games will join in. Maybe cozy nights will show up when my hands or my brain need a break. Nothing is locked in except the commitment to show up.

I’m actively trying not to have this all planned out, because honestly, I don’t. Just committing to it has already messed with my thinking ability, and that’s okay too.

I’m lucky enough to have family and friends supporting me from the sidelines, cheering me on even when I overthink. And I’m hoping somewhere in these streams to make new friends as well. People who understand what it feels like to start a new chapter instead of quietly closing the book.

This feels like the beginning of the second half of my story. Not quieter. Not smaller. Just what I want to do.