From Dream to Reality: A Woman Gamer’s Journey to Building a Dream Website and Discord Server

Just a girl and her Shepherd

My Thoughts on Being a Woman Gamer and This Dream I Want

(A Look Inside the Invisible Bubble Above My Melon)

As I creep closer to being halfway to 100, with all the kids grown and flown, there’s only one four-legged creature still totally dependent on me, my girl Riley (she’s basically my shadow). And now, more than ever, I feel the need to finally build a dream that’s been on my mind for the past year.

I want to create a space where any adult can come and hang out. Chat about life. Talk gaming. Let their guard down. Be themselves. With inspiration from a few amazing, supportive people, that’s exactly what I’ve been working on.

And here we...

(Isn’t using the three dots the most Gen X thing ever?)

But seriously, let me tell you something (yes, that TikTok soundbite is now replaying in my head). What nobody warns you about when you decide to build a website and a Discord server is just how much goes into it. Like, why did I think this would be “fast and fun”?

What started as a let's go I can speed through this and “this’ll be awesome” quickly turned into me obsessing over color palettes, spending every morning drinking way too much coffee, Googling synonyms because, let’s face it, I’m getting old and running out of words. I just want to show who I am, what I love, and create something meaningful for everyone who wants to be part of this little dream world of mine.

I wanted to build a place where real friendships, old and new could thrive. Where we could talk about our lives just as much as our kill-death ratios. Where it’s totally normal to drop a pic of your dog, rant about your day, or share what you’re snacking on while gaming (talking about myself here—if it isn’t sweet and salty, is it even worth it?).

And as I build this space, I also want to share the gear and tools, I use to game. Nothing fancy or over-the-top expensive. Just what works. If I’ve found something that gives me a solid, functioning play environment without draining my bank account, you better believe I’m going to talk about it. Because gaming shouldn’t require a second mortgage. Let’s keep it real, accessible, and fun.

But this space isn’t just for gamers. I didn’t want to leave out the friends, spouses, or the “non-gamers” who just don’t get the obsession. You know, the ones who ask, “How is this fun?” while we’re sweating through a game of Warzone. This is for them too.

Being a woman gamer? It’s not always easy. Let’s be honest, being a woman, period, has always come with an extra layer of BS. We game to unwind, not to fight off inappropriate comments or prove ourselves. No, I won’t make you a sandwich. No, I don’t belong in the kitchen unless I’m grabbing a snack. And if you can’t handle women in your party or on your server, this isn’t your place.

Now, this is something I’ll be diving into deeper in another blog post. But it deserves a mention here. To the partners out there who get weird about their significant others gaming with the opposite sex: most of us aren’t here looking for a date. We’re here for laughs, good convos, and sweet wins. I’ve gamed mostly with men, and honestly? They’re usually the ones talking about their spouse, their kids, their pets, and what family thing they’ve got going on this weekend. Those guys? Keep them around. I know I’m lucky—I've been with my husband for 33 years, and we’re about to hit our silver anniversary this summer.

But building all of this? Whew. It’s a full-time emotional rollercoaster. Every decision is a second guess: Is this channel too cluttered? Is this emoji annoying? Will anyone show up? And if they do… will they stay? I hope you stay!!!!

And yet I have to say every second has been worth it. I'm learning so much!

Because this isn’t just a website. It’s not just a Discord server. It’s a little digital corner of the internet where you can show up exactly as you are. Where sarcasm is welcome, chaos is expected, and no one cares if you’re on your fifth cup of coffee by 10 a.m. while making a million little changes you’ll probably redo tomorrow anyway. We only judge the mean, nasty, gatekeeping gamers, the rest of you? Come as you are.

This is for my longtime friends who’ve stuck with me. For the new ones who just want a no pressure space to vibe out. For the women who’ve had to fight for space in the gaming world. And for anyone who’s looking for a place to belong, both on-screen and off.

So if you're here I'm so happy, welcome. Kick off your shoes (or boots, or slippers, or whatever you game in. Me? I hate anything on my feet). Make yourself at home. It might look simple on the outside, but behind the scenes, I've given it 100% of sweat, tears and my full attention. This is why I'm building a dream website and discord server.